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Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

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Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I invented a new word!

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Plagiarism!

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Because every play has a cast.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. 

I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”


                        Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

Knock! Knock!

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Who’s there?

Control Freak.

Con…

OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember


“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

He was just going through a stage.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?


Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember



He just needed a little space.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Because they make up everything.

Why did the chicken go to the séance?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

To get to the other side.

Where are average things manufactured?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

The satisfactory. 

How do you drown a hipster?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Throw him in the mainstream.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

A nervous wreck.

What does a nosy pepper do?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

Gets jalapeño business!

How does Moses make tea?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

He brews.

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

They always take things literally.

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